So here we are with the March 1988 chaper in the story of my Maths A Level revision (amongst other things). Of course in actual fact, the amount of revision that actually took place was negligible. But there you go. That’s how I rolled.
Tuesday 1 March 1988
Quite an odd entry at the head of today’s little section. I am sure that my Mum had this superstition or tradition that at the start of the month, the first word out of your mouth should be ‘rabbit[s],’ or ‘white rabbit[s]’ to ensure good luck for the coming month.
Well, darn it, but this morning, I forgot to utter the immortal phrase. “So, I suppose, I am superstitious.”
Moving swiftly on, and I reported that I had finished an essay for Industrial Studies and that it was “Revision night tonite,” for said subject.
I also noted that we had visitors in the shape of Mum’s cousin and her boyfriend.
Wednesday 2 February 1988
In sports news (note the lack of capitals), I report that at last, we had won a game of rugby. Unfortunately, I did not feature in the first XV. So, boohoo to that for a game of soldiers. (I thought you said it was rugby, Ed.)
More importantly, I did manage to get home in time for Neighbours on BBC1. Good job, huh?!
Thursday 3 March 1988
Oh dear, there was a mini maelstrom raging within me today. I was, “very pissed off,” and “I hate Theo, he doesn’t even speak to me anymore.” Well, no shit, Sherlock. I wonder, is there any reason you could divine for that?
Furthermore, I went on to add, “I was so close to telling Serena who sent her the Valentine’s card. I suppose I should, she can only react badly at worst. At best, who knows………”
Here was my inner torture, writ large. Ultimately, due to zero self-confidence, I couldn’t tell Serena that I had sent her the Valentine’s card because it would mean making myself vulnerable. When you’ve been a bullied person, making yourself voluntarily vulnerable is just a complete no-no. God, you’ve had enough other people belittling you that you just don’t do it. You do the exact opposite; you do anything you can to protect yourself.
Consequently, you don’t put yourself out there to make new friends – see my entire time at sixth form. You certainly do not put yourself out there even to hint that you might like somebody romantically, because, fuck, how are you going to feel if they don’t reciprocate your feelings? What might other people think too?
There’s also an element of nervousness that they do reciprocate your feelings. Shish, then you have to make conversation and bloody hell, make yourself vulnerable in a different way.
Of course, in the longer term, not making yourself vulnerable in this way at 15-, 16-, 17-, 18-years-old sets you up for a frustrating, even painful time. You see friends striking up relationships, both platonic and romantic whilst you plod along, trying to keep hold of their coat tails as they achieve lift-off, whilst you seem constantly to live your life with the handbrake on.
Friday 4 March 1988
Today, we were told that we had a Physics test next week. Then, apparently, Maths was interesting, which is probably code for bloody hard, nay, bewildering.
And tonight, on Channel 4, I watched Friday Night Live. Even at my tender age, I had identified that this was required viewing. Featuring Ben Elton as the compere, who would also do stand-up sets, it had turns from the likes of Harry Enfield with three different characters. One was Stavros, a Greek kebab shop owner who would ramble on about life in his kebab shop. Then there were Loadsamoney and his alter-ego Buggerallmoney; two characters who represented the two sides of Thatcher’s Britain of 1988.
Josie Lawrence featured, with her monologues delivered as the character Florence from Cradley, but also sketches with other performers, notably Hugh Lawrie. Julian Clary performed as The Joan Collins Fan Club with his dog Fanny. Moray Hunter and Jack Docherty performed as Mr Don and Mr George from the Scottish sketch show Absolutely.
There was always music from the likes of Hue and Cry, the Communards, Feargal Sharkey, the Proclaimers, the Hooters, All About Eve, and many more.
Saturday 5 March 1988
Today, I went to Shrewsbury Town versus Millwall. The game ended in a goalless draw.
In other football action, Liverpool scored a 1-0 win over QPR at Loftus Road.
The night’s televisual feast was Jasper Carrott’s Carrott Confidential, which followed from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Sunday 6 March 1988
Today it rained a little and after I had done my paper round and collected the money, I settled down to watch Arsenal defeat Spurs 2-1 in the North London derby at Highbury. It was a significant event in that it was the last league fixture shown live on the BBC. Somewhat bizarrely, given today’s wall to wall coverage, this was the last match to be screened live this season.
From next season ITV would lay claim to exclusive rights to show matches from the Football League, only to be usurped themselves by Sky before the 1992/93 season.
Monday 7 March 1988
Between me and my diary, I was particularly scathing about an individual at sixth form. I’m not going to repeat here what I wrote, but it suffices to say if I had thought that somebody could have written something similar about me, I would not have been a happy bunny. He and I had a strange niggly relationship, always sniping at each other, perhaps without either of us realising why it was happening.
We had arrived at sixth form from different secondary schools, spent a brief twenty-month period drifting in an out of each other’s group of acquaintances and have not set eyes on each other since 1988.
In many ways, my squabbles with him are indicative of my frustration with my friendship situation at the time. I was mightily pissed off that I was being excluded by friends from school who had come to sixth form with me, but this was probably because I couldn’t (wouldn’t?) make new friends.
For all I knew, this lad, bless him, may have been in the same boat as me and saw me as a rival – I’m guessing that I saw him as one. I don’t bloody know, it’s 36 years ago as I write this, and my cod psychology applied over that timescale probably renders any theory of mine total bunkum.
On the telly-box there was another episode of Red Dwarf and in a real out-on-a-limb moment, I said it was “just like the Young Ones used to be – extremely funny.”
Tuesday 8 March 1988
Anyway, moving swiftly on… to US politics. It was Super Tuesday in the race for the Republican nomination for President.
And back towards my own trials, I noted that “[I] left college [late,] at 4:10 pm ‘cause I didn’t fancy waiting at the [Barker Street] bus stop whilst being ignored.”
Wednesday 9 March 1988
I reported that George Bush* won most of the Super Tuesday states.
In our Wednesday afternoon recreation slot, us rugby players were put together with our football playing brethren. Now, I have no recollection as to why I played rugby – I am much more of a football fan than a rugby fan.
However, I know for an absolute fact why I chose not to play football. It attracted a particular clientele. A group of lads that I wanted nothing to do with.
As it was, I remember the game was a bit of a free-for-all. Highlights were a number of punches thrown during scrums by our football playing number because they believed they could get away with it.
*George H Bush, Reagan’s two-term Vice President, and father of George W Bush.
Thursday 10 March 1988
Today was “boring,” I recorded, because for some reason, “it didn’t get off the ground.”
There was a fire drill in college and, “I had a driving lesson, which was OK.”
Friday 11 March 1988
Another day of complaining about my friendship status. I was “totally pissed off” that “my mates [had] deserted me again.”
I can’t remember to which exact incident this entry refers. Possibly, I had arrived at a meeting point, expecting to meet them, only to hang around there for a time before realising that they had already headed off somewhere. Alternatively, it may have been the reverse situation, when after our last morning lecture, I had said to one of them, ‘Let’s take a walk into town,’ only for him to say, ‘Nah, I’m gonna wait for the others.’
Never mind. It’s somewhat clouded by the mists of time and all I’m trying to do by writing it is to work through it, to get it off my chest. I am in contact with none of them anymore; I have a much more solid group of friends that I met at university and those relationships are the sort that genuinely can be put down and the picked-up months or years later and carried on as before.
Saturday 12 March 1988
An entry devoted to football for today. I recorded that Forest had beaten Arsenal 2-1, whilst at the bottom of the second division results had gone in Shrewsbury Town’s favour. West Bromwich, Sheffield Utd, AFC Bournemouth and Huddersfield Town had all lost, and Leicester City, Birmingham City and Reading had only managed draws.
Town stood sixth from bottom on 36 points from 35 games and a goal difference of just -13. Next we had West Bromwich with 36 pts from 36 games and GD -21; then came Sheffield Utd with 36pts from 35 games and GD -21. The bottom three was AFC Bournemouth with 34pts from 35 games and a GD of -10. Second from bottom was Reading with 32 pts from 34 games and a GD of -20. Rock bottom were Huddersfield Town with a record of 24 pts from 34 games and a GD of -43.
Sunday 13 March 1988
More bloody football as Liverpool beat Manchester City 4-0 at Maine Road in the sixth round of the FA Cup.
Monday 14 March 1988
Still more football. Today we had the draw for the semi-finals of the FA Cup, made on the radio at 12:30 pm during the Jimmy Young show on Radio 2.
And, get this, the games were to be played at neutral venues rather than at Wembley. That was reserved for the final itself.
This year, we were to be treated to Luton Town versus Wimbledon at Tottenham Hotspur’s White Hart Lane and Liverpool versus Nottingham Forest at Hillsborough, home of Sheffield Wednesday.
I looked forward to Red Dwarf on TV in the evening saying that it “promises to be very funny.” It was.
Tuesday 15 March 1988
Moving on from football and TV comedy, today I turned my mind to politics and the Budget.
My comment, although light on detail was scathing in tone. I said that “It was a rich man’s budget from a rich man’s government.” Now, I may have been original but knowing me, I probably heard it on the TV or radio and simply regurgitated it for my papery audience.
Along with the pithy commentary, I mentioned that the top rate had been reduced to 40% and the lower rate to 25%. My understanding of it though was skimpy.
Wednesday 16 March 1988
Today, I did a fun run. I can’t remember what it was for, it may have been Sport Relief related.
Returning to football, I recorded Liverpool’s 1-1 draw away at Derby County. This was their twenty-ninth game of the season, and they were still unbeaten. Thus, they equalled Leeds United’s record for going unbeaten from the beginning of the season. Nottingham Forest lost.
Thursday 17 March 1988
“Physics was back to ‘normal’ today.” This can only mean that it was very bloody difficult.
Then I went on a rant about not being able to get people to respond to me in the way that I wanted. I was probably upset at some incident or another of being ignored. As always, I was forgetting that I needed to actually speak to people in order to have them even interact with me, never mind “respond to me the way I want.”
Friday 18 March 1988
Today was a bit boring and I supposed that “the weekend should be OK if Town can get a point.”
I recorded that I watched Friday Night Live again and although I loved it, looking back, I wonder, should I have been out? Out doing 18-year-old stuff.
Saturday 19 March 1988
A double header in town today. A driving lesson, followed by attendance at Shrewsbury Town versus Middlesbrough. The team from Ayresome Park won the game, so the point I had predicted would help make the weekend did not materialise.
Regarding my driving lesson, I expressed my frustration with my instructor. Today, I ranted that he was always putting me down in front of his girly pupils.
Sunday 20 March 1988
I suppose it was always going to end this way as Wayne Clarke, brother of Leeds United’s Alan Clarke scored the only goal of the game at the Park End, Goodison Park to see Everton end Liverpool’s 29 match unbeaten run.
Monday 21 March 1988
Once again, woe is me. I was “pissed off. Monday was a dead loss,” and I hoped that tomorrow would be better. At least there was Red Dwarf.
Tuesday 22 March 1988
At least today was better as I noted that I had an OK day. In meteorological news, it rained a lot today.
Then we moved on to academic news as I reported that revision was spluttering into life. I hope that “By the end of March I should be in the swing of things.”
Wednesday 23 March 1988
There was international football this evening as England drew 2-2 with Holland (surely the Netherlands). I said that it was a pretty crap match, although the stats show the Dutch were 2-1 ahead at halftime with an own goal from Tony Adams and a strike from John Bosman (no, not that Bosman) answering Gary Lineker’s opener. Then Adams redeemed himself, notching the equaliser with a 3-yard header from a Trevor Steven freekick just after an hour’s play.
Conscious of my impending A Levels, I again tried to do some revision. (Note in these days, international football was not shown live, but as edited highlights later in the evening. Consequently, I was not watching the football instead of revising, I just couldn’t get going with it.)
For whatever other reasons it was, this revision session did not go well. I recorded being “pissed off” and that “I must buck my ideas up. Seriously, I’m scared.”
Thursday 24 March 1988
Bloody hell, things were not going well. We had a maths test today and I feared a pasting. I hadn’t mentioned being notified of the test, but I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t just dumped on us. I was philosophical in stating that I feared a bad one. But still…
Friday 25 March 1988
Yep, I did perform poorly in the maths test, scoring just 52%. But then, when we went through the test, “it seemed very easy.” There must be a name for this phenomenon. A bit like Stockholm Syndrome, but not quite so overblown.
Seminal educational psychologist Lev Vygotsky proposed that teachers scaffold learners, much in the same way that a building under construction is scaffolded – given temporary support. Our teacher certainly did this, I always felt properly secure.
My problem was when this scaffolding was removed. Another, perhaps more accurate metaphor would be stabilisers or training wheels. I could ride for miles with support but career off into a ditch once they were removed.
In entertainment news, I watched Friday Night Live. My review – “[it was] very funny.”
Saturday 26 March 1988
Another footballing odyssey today as I travelled to Boundary Park, Oldham to support Shrewsbury Town versus the Latics.
It was an eventful afternoon with Town reaching half-time two goals to the good, only for Oldham to improve their performance to make it 2-2 at full-time. Still, it was another point, although it did see Town slip into the bottom three as both West Bromwich and Sheffield Utd scored wins to leapfrog them.
Sunday 27 March 1988
Quite why I commented, I am not sure, but Reading defeated Luton Town in the final of the Simod Cup by a score of 4-1.
Monday 28 March 1988
It seemed that this diary lark was getting a bit too much for me, as “NOT A LOT HAPPENED TODAY, innit!?”
Tuesday 29 March 1988
With the Easter break fast approaching, I had time to complain about my mate (yes, I did have the odd one – in this one’s case, decidedly odd, boom tish). Just a minor complaint – he hadn’t sorted out our footy team for the end-of-term tri-football tournament against the other two sixth form houses.
I was pleased to note that there was no more Physics and Maths for a while but then questioned whether it was actually good news. No mention of Industrial Studies. Perhaps I had given up on that subject already.
Wednesday 30 March 1988
After all the fuss (what fuss, Ed?) we managed to come joint second in the football. Yes, we were equally as bad as one of the other two houses, whilst the other one was better than both of us.
In other news, the son of one of our lecturers who had been at sixth form last year and had gone off to university was back in town at the start of his Easter break. For some reason, “I tried to keep out of his way.” Hmm.
Thursday 31 March 1988
Well, whaddya know? With Easter being early this year, we were off! Free to be ourselves again. Free, in my case, to agonise about how much revision I was not doing yet do nothing about actually doing any. Free, also, to agonise about most other facts of late teenage life.